Sucker’s Corner Spotlight - The Red Exerciser
Call it the “Spinning Chair of Bullshit”
There is a lot of marketing involved in the multi-billion dollar industry of health and fitness. How can someone differentiate their products from the other competitors out there? Simple. Shovel a bunch of shit and lies down your throat! I’ve seen some stupid products out there and I’m sure you have too if you’ve ever watched television for more than 30 minutes.
This new section of the Better Body Journal will highlight and expose some of the more ridiculous weight loss and fitness products out there. Unfortunately, people are wasting a lot of money on diet fads, silly machines, and worthless books each and everyday. Fortunately, we’re here to warn you of these completely useless and ineffective contraptions before you’re suckered out of your money. Welcome to the “Sucker’s Corner.”
The Red Exerciser. Was it a dream?
As I was dozing off last night in bed, I thought I was dreaming when I saw a commercial for a product called the “Red Exerciser.” It had to be a dream because it was so ridiculous that nonsense like this could only exist in my imagination. The “Red Exerciser.” It’s red, and it’s an exerciser. It must work right? I had to pinch myself to make sure I was still awake. Let me tell you a little bit about not what this product is, but what this product does. (Keep in mind, I can make these evaluations based on a 1 minute-long infomercial, without actually using the product, simply because I run a website with a blog that allows me to express my opinions with repercussion.)
This miracle product, the “Red Exerciser,” will turn the fattest man or woman’s body into a work of art that rivals that of da Vinci’s Michelangelo. You will lose many pounds and many inches off of your waist. So much so that you will have to buy a new tape measure because you will use your old one as a belt since you can now wrap it around yourself multiple times and then tie a knot to hold it up.
How does it work? How does the “Red Exerciser” shed pounds of fat and numerous inches off of your frame? It’s simple really, because all you have to do is twist and turn on this thing until you are made of granite. Just keep twisting and turning on the “Red Exerciser” until your core stomach muscles are so strong and lean that they will in turn affect the rest of the muscles in your body.
OK, enough of the sarcastic potshots at this thing. Let’s get a serious for a minute. The “Red Exerciser” is a fucking barstool. It’s a barstool with handles. Whoever invented this thing needs to be euthanized. If you own one, please leave this website immediately and never return.
Take a look at their website to get an idea of the different product versions they have. Why they have more than one is beyond me. But they have three versions of this thing to make it look like they put more than 6 minutes of thought into product differentiation. Let’s explore the three models of the Red Exerciser in detail.
Entry Level - XL
The first thing you’ll notice with this model is that it’s rated for only up to 250lbs. So if you’re overweight, you are immediately going to have to upgrade to the Deluxe model, or the Professional Health Club model if you’re a real mess. With the Entry Level – XL, you get a basic workout DVD which I can only assume is a 30-second long clip showing you how to operate it. (Sit on it. Grab the handles. Rotate back and forth.)
Keep going down the list of features and you’ll see the price. Here is where you realize you’re getting ripped off. $150 shipped. I can tell how you how to replace this machine with something a little less expensive. It’s called a stick. Whether it’s a hockey stick, a weighted bar, or a broom, you can replace the motion of this machine by putting a stick behind your head and twisting back and forth. The only necessary qualification of the stick is that it has to be solid enough to not break behind your head.
Deluxe Exerciser – DX
As we move up the product line of bullshit, we have the Deluxe Exerciser. What makes it Deluxe? Well, you get 30 more pounds of resistance and a workout DVD. Not just any workout DVD though! You get a workout DVD with Celebrity Trainer George Poe (whoever the hell that is.) And you get an extra inch of cushion, because we all know comfort is the most important thing when it comes to training.
You’ll notice that there is no price for this one. Why is that? The reason is because its probably astronomically expensive and displaying the price before they could get your credit card on file would be detrimental to sales. Judging by the price of the lower end model and the huge amount of bullshit built into this product and company, we can assume you’re going to drop at least $200 on this nonsense. If you knew the price before hand, you would never allow this thing into your house for the “Free Trial” and you would send a nasty letter to the manufacturer demanding they cut off their own testicles with a blunt instrument.
Professional Health Club – MAX
The more extreme the name, the more extreme the product. Adding MAX to anything automatically adds $100 to the price tag and makes it so good you want to slide kick your mom in the face. If you’re looking to fill your home with exercise equipment that you will stop using after a week, then this is the product for you!
The Joke is not over
The sad part is people will continue to buy the “Red Exerciser” because marketing works. Good marketing can sell you a dirty sock full of maple syrup and make you think if you rub it on your nuts, you can hold an erection for 42 days. By educating yourself, the consumer, you can avoid nonsense like this product. Intuition will tell you if it’s too good to be true, then someone is making a lot of money because people are idiots. Not you though. You’re smarter than that. Right?
Good. Stay tuned for the next installment of the “Sucker’s Corner.” If you have a product you’d like exposed, drop me a line: Bartek@betterbodyjournal.com
March 14th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Just wanted to comment that I came upon your website by accident while I was looking up the “red exerciser”.
I love your no nonsense review!!! Soooo funny,I never laughed so freakin’ hard at a review in my life! I’m definitely bookmarking your website for future use, thanks!
PS….I too saw that idiotic commercial and just had to check google to find any reviews on it (I thought it was a joke at first!).
Anyone with 1/2 a brain could realize it’s bull (why not just sit on a rotating barstool or chair and do the same. It’s free! (IF it would even work anyway) . Your right: “Marketing is everything!”
March 17th, 2007 at 8:54 am
Couldn’t agree with you more!! My son has been working out and asked if I would buy the red exerciser for him. After seeing the commercial for it, I told him that I used to use a broomstick as part of an ab workout–and it gave me great results! He gave me that “yeah, mom, whatever” look, so your hockey stick analogy just made me laugh!
Great commentary — thanks for reminding us that the world is not COMPLETELY full of gullible idiots!
March 28th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Hi There,
I just had to comment. I had stomach surgery a few months ago for a bowel obstruction and had to get right back to work…my stomach muscles were a mess and I needed something to get them in shape again….something that I could do at my desk. I had a work out ball I sat on, but tough to stay balanced when I need to. I got the Red DX Fitness chair and I love it. I am already seeing results…it has replaced my work chair and I keep the resistance up and I am quickly getting my stomach muscles back.
April 10th, 2007 at 8:48 am
I just came across your information and busted out laughing. I APPLAUD you!!.. for being so straight forward and will bookmark your site.
Actually… all one has to do is… get a “lazy Susan” and attach it to a chair with arms… and viola… you have the same thing.
April 18th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
I was just looking at this product for my husband…. not to get a six-pack or anything, we aren’t that silly (plus we are old and out of shape due to disabilities). But wan’t something to help him limber up his back in the morning. I was disappointed it was so expensive.
April 22nd, 2007 at 8:23 am
I was watching tv with my girlfriend this morning and a commercial for this product came on and immediately she picked up her phone. I convinced her to wait a few minutes while I looked at reviews online because it sounded like BS. Good thing I did!! I’m currently detaching the handle from the broom right now. Thanks!
May 8th, 2007 at 8:16 am
I also saw the ad for red exerciser on TV. I thought it would be a great product but when I saw the real price on the internet, I decided I didn’t want to spend that much and have it not work. I decided to try spinning on my computer chair. I hold on to the pull out tray for my computer or put two small chairs on each side of me to hold on to. I have lost two inches around my waist and about ten pounds of weight in three weeks. I also cut back a little bit on my calorie intake but I believe that the majority of the weight loss has come from spinning. I make sure that I can feel my muscles tighten up when I am doing this exercise and it is working for me without spending any money.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:18 am
Hi, I just came across your honest review of the Red Exerciser and couldn’t be happier that I saw it in the nick of time. I’d seen the infomercials and thought seriously about purchasing this product. I want to trim and firm my abs (like most people), so I was actually doing a little more research before going to get one tomorrow. I’d seen it available for order, but also came across this exerciser in local chain fitness stores here in Madison, WI on the shelves. For some strange reason the boxes containing the Red Exerciser were completely covered with dust. Now I see why. It’s a piece of crap. I’d actually read a lot of pleas for help from 3 pages worth of disgruntled Red Exerciser purchasers who’d bought it over the phone or online. I did a google search (try it) to read reviews about the product since I was ready to go get one tomorrow. Thankfully I saw your article first. You just saved me a wad of money and a lot of pissed off dissatisfaction.
I’m sitting in a swiveling office chair as I type this. I think I’ll just go get my broom, put it on my shoulders and get the same (probably more effective) workout for totally free!
Keep up the good work exposing scams!
May 19th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Hello!
Great website and great comments! Both do a fine job of illustrating the more crass and vulgar sides of your personality. I pity you.
Do you, even for a moment, believe what you have here is credible?! You have clouded your (possibly valid) opinion with vulgarities. The reader cannot help but discount or disregard what you write. My God! What horrible series of events made you so bitter? Its just an exercise machine!!
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
June 11th, 2007 at 8:42 am
Hey,
Thanks for posting. I’m going to try the suggestion from Janet above. Unfortunately,
my computer chair doesn’t offer any resistance when spinning, but at least it’s some exercise.
I had to quit walking due to arthritis–waiting for a hip replacement in August–
and had been looking for something that would help tone abdominals and upper body
without doing crunches. I also use 3 and 5 lb hand weights while watching TV (commercials)
to do arm exercises.
June 22nd, 2007 at 7:43 am
Holy Hocky Stick,
I’m getting my broom handle and working out.
Also - They say in there ad that this is not avaiable in stores. BS - Look on line. Target, and many other stores have them AND for alot less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I have been working out with my broom handle and I am going to market it!!!! I have lost 300″ on my waist and if you get a stick for $0 (Because you already have the broom) I PROMISE YOU I WILL SEND BACK YOUR MONEY PLUS 3000% Profile.)
Well - 0 x 3000 = $0.00
Checks will be mailed ASAP!
God Bless everyone,
Tiny Tim
June 24th, 2007 at 11:55 am
It’s a bit unfair that you review something you haven’t even tried. And you seem to omit the fact that there’s resistance, so it’s not the same thing as swiveling in a chair. But I agree that it’s too expensive.
July 1st, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Thank you very much for your informative article. I was so pissed when I saw the informercial that I decided to find out more about the inventor/company owner of this stupid piece of crap machine.
Well, I found out that his mother spent 20 years as a $10 hooker in truckstops and was fucked by thousands and thousands of truckers. She is now retired, but this guy has no idea who his dad is. He came up with the idea of this stupid red thing so that he can make enough money to get a DNA sample of all ex-truckers in the 60-65 age range because he wants very badly to find out who his dad is.
July 1st, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Hi,
I was tempted to buy this, but the add being too good to be true, I decided to research for opinions of people who already have it. And I generally don’t have trust in “As seen on TV” products anyway. I have read more negative than positive reviews. I love your idea about the broom stick.
I am glad I read the reviews.
Thanks for sharing your views.
July 8th, 2007 at 7:57 am
I am on the fence to buy this, and for the life of me can’t understand why anyone believes this review when the reviewer admits he never saw, tried, or even touched the product. It would be like reviewing a restaurant based on their menu and advertising. At the gym my favorite equipment was the waist twister machine. Why would this be any different? The most you can say is the marketing is cheesy. You can’t say anything about a product you never tried. Let me help you: barstool has no resistance. Broom stick has no resistance. When the key to exercise is resistance, your alternatives make no sense. Maybe it is junk. Maybe it is worthless. I don’t know. But your review has no validity whatsoever and is unhelpful to me in making a decision. Here is a reasonable course of action: Buy the product. Try it for a month. Return it. Review it.
July 8th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
I loved Janet’s idea (May 8 comment) of “spinning” on my computer chair, holding onto pull-out tray. Just started, so don’t know about results yet….but any movement greater than zero has got to be good, right?
July 24th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
hi…
thanks for the honest review of the Red Exerciser! I bet this frank information saved a lot of money for many people… including me!
August 8th, 2007 at 4:59 am
Did anyone else notice the “fine print” that appears on the bottom of the screen occasionally during this infomercial? It states that diet and aerobic exercise were also implemented by those reporting results from this wonder machine. I’m guessing the people demonstrating RED are also heavily involved in weight lifting because some of them have very muscular EVERYTHING. That does come from aerobics…it comes from weight training.
I can see how this contraption might be helpful for rehab. after surgery, helping people stay limber, or even some abdominal strengthening, but you don’t lose 6+ inches without burning more calories than you consume - Basic Weight Loss 101. Replacing a regular computer chair with RED could help burn more calories simply through movement, but not nearly enough to lose significant inches…unless you “sit and spin” all day, every day.
I’m sure I would tone up a bit if I put RED to use, but the cost out weighs even my “love handles” so it isn’t worth it to me.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:30 am
i own one dkhd, and it does work, just takes time and dedication like anything else, and of course the results depends on the particular person. some people see resutls in the first week for others it may take much longer. plus id rather be rotating watching tv and getting slower results, than killing myself on the floor and getting faster results. my point, like any other ab workout, its not freaking magic, you gotta put the work, and use the product correctly. so dont be a douche bag, and try it before you mock it. dmbass.
August 10th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
one last thing, the most important thing is diet, even if you work on your abs for an hour everyday, it really wont make a difference if youre eating hamburgers and fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. you can have the best abs in the world, but if you have a layer of fat over your midsection, you will never see them. with any product, don’t expect a miracle, put in the work, incorporate aerobic exercise, and a balanced diet, and soon you will have those coveted rock hard abs. aight im done with this, peace out yall.
August 16th, 2007 at 2:06 am
I just saw the infomercial on tv and am currently watching it as I type this. I was interested in buying it since it seemed outrageously easy and apparently cheap ($14.95 for a trial). I, like every other decently IQ-ed individual realised it was just a bar stool with handle bars. I read some of the reviews about how people were getting the same results by using a broom behind their heads? I don’t plan to buy the product but I’m embarrased to admit I’m somehow missing the visual-why behind the head? And I’m assuming this is with a swivel chair because it wasn’t mentioned with the suggestion. Why not just hold on to something as you turn?…just wondering so I could take a shot at it at home on my own…
August 28th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
I had to laugh at your blog and all the comments on it. I agree with you 100% but i decided to research it and read reviews. (i always do) Well if you think about it you are doing the basic pilates move of sitting on the floor, hands behind you, leaning back just a tad (so you are on a higher part than your tail bone) lifting your feet of the floor, and just rocking them together from side to side… and guess what……… THATS FREE!!!
September 11th, 2007 at 11:13 am
ROTFLMAO
I’m on my computer chair with broomstick in hand!
Shit! I guess I have to use one or the other!
September 16th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
I am a member at a local athletic club and weekly make use of a Cybex VR3 torso machine. The machine works the core because you first lock your shoulders against a fixed pad and then rotate your torso. The weight your rotate against you select from 0 to 280 lbs. It works - the Red - don’t think so.
September 17th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
I just lost 150 pounds in about 10 minutes. My wife was using the broom and twisting for a few minutes. I started laughing at her, and then she flew away on the broom, saying she aint coming back. Should have thought of that a long time ago. I’d rather be dead than own a Red.
September 18th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Well, I got a steal - $10 at the Goodwill. I was intrigued with the infomercial, but of course, who can afford any sort of exercise machine that’s offered on television? I’m trying it out after I have my baby in December — this is #5 and I have a horrible pouch from so many kids — and if it doesn’t work, passing it on to someone else who wants to do ab work w/o crawling on the floor. Going to do pilates, too…and true exercise like that will probably make me ditch the red anyway…anticipate craigslisting it after it’s no longer useful. This works because #1, I paid $10 for another bar stool and #2, I have a plan to recoup my money.
September 21st, 2007 at 7:45 pm
yea u diffenitely left the resistance part out….okay so red does not work so u claim and u have never used it….what have u used, and what do u suggest….
September 29th, 2007 at 8:11 am
My husband and I just saw this infomercial and I googled it to get a price and reviews. I literally have tears rolling down my face, I’m laughing so hard. Maybe I’m stressed… this was a great release. I too will be bookmarking your blog, that way, when I need a review and a good laugh I can get both at the same time!
October 4th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Very funny and smart-A review. My grandfather left this advice - believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear. Ah, the information age….
November 6th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
good article bro
most of the commenters on here are idiots.
doing abdominal exercises will not improve your lower back strength. doing lower back exercises will improve your lower back strength. Doing abdominal exercises will not improve posture. that is what your lower back and the rest of your posterior chain is for. furthermore, this product looks to exercise your obliques which will thicken your waist, assuming that this product even works that well.
Working your abs will not reduce your bodyfat, nor will it burn any significant calories. This is true for anyone. if you want to lose weight, lift weights and do cardio as cross training.
Also for anyone who is a fat fuck like most of the commenters on here, try some fucking ephedrine or something and eat less food. get some willpower.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I puchased the red exerciser to help build weak muscles after back surgery. It’s working. I got red for 30.00. If you shop around you can find anything. I did not purchase it to get a beautiful waist like so many of you. Mine is used for health reasons. It’s something I can do by myself, that’s really helping me. I’m glad I discovered it.
December 13th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Hey buddy. You sound like you have gotten ripped off in the past and now are just angry at every infomercial. Have you tried this product? And for the “Powerlifting Dude” who says try some ephedrine, are you kidding me?? You will make fun of this product but will recommend using a product that can cause heart attacks, strokes and seizures.
December 14th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Whoever writes this crap can’t even spell (look at the top of the web page). This individual seems to be a dyed-in-the-wool infomercial/TV watcher. Anybody want to place any bets on how much he/she weighs?
January 6th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
My exroommate’s dad has one of these and i was so confused on what she was talking about when she was telling me what it was. I finally saw the commerical this morning and almost spit out my water that i was drinking. I told my best friend and she looked it up on the net. We came across your review and ive never laughed so hard. I have to agree it is one of the most stupid ideas i’ve ever seen. I mean i do go and work out at the gym, but this, this is just a joke for people who have no life.
Love the Hockey stick idea!
February 6th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Powerliftin dude….I had read the entire page for the information…but you are the one that I have to reply to. Not the guy who was creative in his article….wrong. but creative…you wouldn’t take sex advice from a virgin would you?…no…but this jack-off…
I use to powerlift (drugfree) so I had to share gym time with pricks like him…. He is probably that guy who desperately wants to get larger but is scared to ride the needle…why? because he doesn’t want to go from a body building dude with a tiny dick to a body building chic with a large clit!!! Remember dumb-ass…the average mother lifts way more than you do in a single day due to the reps of lifting toddlers. They are contributing to our future. Why don’t you contribute to the Darwin awards and do us all a favor, huh?
Signed:
FAT FUCK who can still out-lift you..bubbles
February 29th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
There are just so many pieces of useless equipment on the market, that it really angers me at times. We live in a society where desperate people throw money at their problems and hope that it will solve everything. The thing that needs to be marketed most is the concept of free exercise. You can go from overweight to fit and not spend any money at all. Go along to a martial arts class, and people exercise barefoot. If people stripped off at home and workout out to their favourite music, with some circuit training, dance, skipping etc. they would soon get fit, lose weight, and save loads of money. But how do we educate the world not to spend money?
March 11th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
thanks and bravo
April 12th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Okay, your spiel is very amusing.
HOWEVER: First, I adore George Poe. Whoever the hell that is?!!! He’s a hunk full of muscle and good humor. I would pay the price of RED just for George’s DVD. Just to have him in my living room when I’m feeling low.
Second, I have triied all those swivel-chair-broomstick-gallon jug-barstool homemade things (I believe in homemade) but never could get sufficiently motivated. I have paid, cheerfully, about 120 bucks for RED mostly so I can get George Poe and also the motivation. Money motivates.
Third, you do not simply sit on the nice widdle cushion and twirl around. The workout is pretty hard, about as hard as you want to make it; it’s also bulls-eye for my particular problem (I am in good shape, just need to trim the waist and high thighs some).
Fourth: Yes, of course you want to combine it with good diet and maybe going out dancing. It’s not a magic bullet, doesn’t claim to be. It’s just a big, big help to someone who lives on the road and hasn’t a lot of time.
I DEFEND RED HEARTILY!!!!!!!
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I have been using the red since day one!!! i use it until i feel the burn and stop. i have taken polaroids of my tummy every week!! you should see the difference. dont down a product that you have not tried!! have you tried it?
April 30th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Hello my name is GAIL ROBINSON and i ordered a RED FITNESS every since Jan.24/2008
and i never recieved it not even a email with the tracking # i amtrying to locate it can you please assist me .you can email me at vento15173@hotmail.com.I will be very thankful
if you can help me.
May 5th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Props and fucking crazy funny… I’m just waiting on the super-lazy-ass edition that cames with a cooler and remote control holder!
May 24th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
As has already been stated people are so deperate for a magic bullet they will buy almost anything that offers a promise of weight loss or muscle build.
Frankly you would beneifit far more from a brisk 30-minute walk each morning than use this piece of equipment.
The secret of successful exercise is to continue doing it regularly and permanently, regardless of what the detail of the exercise is.
May 31st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I too was intrigued by the Red Exerciser and the claims it makes on the infomercial. I thought it might be better to be sitting on this thing to watch tv as opposed to my Lazyboy recliner. I went to the official Red website and was bowled over at how expensive it was. If you are sucker enough to fall for the $14, 30 day trial - the only thing that will get a hardy workout and burn, will be your credit card. I am an avid Ebay buyer so I thought I might find one on Ebay - would not even mind a used one that some other sucker found they did not use and listed it there. Well, there are all three models available there, brand new and at about 30% of the Red website - even with shipping included. The DX, the middle model, can be purchased from several different sellers for around $65 total, including shipping. So if you really want to buy/try this little unit - go to Ebay or even Craigs List - found it on both. You might just get to feel the burn in the right place.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:58 am
i take many pills prescribed by my doctor but lately the pills look like some amature is making them in his cellar. i spent most of my life in mfg, building,and a toolmaker for ge and some of the pills surely look like they’re counterfeit. — HOW COULD WE GET THIS CHECKED?—- contact me at home by phone listed in scranton pa 18505.570-344-3751. — this is important to me i will contact PACE IN PENNSYLVANIA.— TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHwhat’s up.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I found your site on faves.com bookmarking site.. I like it ..gave it a fave for you..ill be checking back later